“Papi?” Innocence personified in a 3 year old’s enquiring eyes, Brandon asked the same question again, as if Papi could guess what was swirling around in his little sweet head.
“Papi? Do Dinosaurs ever dine at the dining room table, or do they just go out in the woods for food?”
Ah, the treasure chest of thoughts in a growing boy’s mind. Brandon had been immersed in playing with his collection of dinosaurs, when we called him upstairs for dinner. He was slow to show up at the table, since he had taken over the basement as his very own pretend “apartment”. He owned it now, paid his rent in hugs and smiles on weekends. He loved that big wide open space free of adults and rules.
We heard his grrrowls as he came up the stairs. He announced that a green, purple and orange ichthyosaur would join us for dinner. Brandon made sure that his guest had a plate, cutlery, a glass for apple juice and an extra cloth napkin, perfectly folded and placed beside the salad, especially for Ichy. Dinosaurs, we know, love their greens!
The Rights of Rituals
We’re an old fashioned couple, Papi and I. Even before Brandon was old enough to sit properly at the table, we started to talk about the importance of “dining”, not just eating to fill up.
Dining, we always say, is time together as family. Dining means that all bums have to be on their seats, recognizing that little bodies turn on a dime and hands reach for the pickle dish. Dining means taking time for grace and blessing, and perhaps squeezing a little “I love you” into the hands we are holding. Dining means that we pause for a “hush” before the rush of passing the potatoes and inhaling the bar-b-cued chicken. Dining as a family, we tell him, is a celebration, as splendid as the good china and beautiful tablecloth that lay as its back drop.
The etiquette lessons aside, which will be introduced when both Brandon and the dinosaur are really ready, our intention is to take a breather in good company. Our lives have become so fragmented, hurried and harried, that we take those moments for granted. Families seem to have lost their anchors, and we consciously refuse to become part of the statistics.
Research reports from the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) at Columbia University assert that families eat only 3 or 4 meals together per week. Gobbling sacks of take out munchies in the car, or eating together watching television count as “family meals”. This food court mentality at home kills conversations and connections. Yet, there is hope. Dining, says the study, gets better with practice.
Coincidentally, when Ichy the Dino joined Brandon at the table, we had prepared a “camp site” salad suitable for the wildest guest. With romaine as the base of grass and leaves, celery sticks became benches, beets and oranges turned into a campfire, with pretzel sticks crisscrossed as logs. Magically, bits of jujubes and raisins turned into frogs and bugs, not just in our imaginations. We had something special to giggle about that was as important for a three year old as it was for the adults. We lingered.
Yes, we do make a fuss about our “dining”. Yes, I set the table early in the morning and worry about groceries at the last minute. Yes, I do iron tablecloths and napkins, usually late at night. Yes, we share the cooking. Yes, we love potluck for the meal. YES, there is PIE, and more pie. Yes, guests and dinosaurs are more than welcome.
And no, Brandon is not yet ready to be the Maitre-D.
Originally published in The Country Register, Ontario Edition and syndicated across Canada and the United States. All Rights Reserved. For reprints, contact maggiechicoine@gmail.com
Maggie Chicoine, The Idea Sculptor, is a professional Keynote Speaker, Master Coach, Facilitator and writer best known for twisting theory with ingenuity. She tells great stories! Book her to speak at your event at 1 800 587 1767 or subscribe to her blog at www.theideasculptor.com.
July 20, 2008
Time OUT! and About the Lake
Summer is a Time to Let Your Head Rest!
Yes, we are on the road again. I'll be back to the regular blog on August 15. Until then, go to http://www.lakesuperiornews.info/ to follow our route.
We - that's the photographer Rick - and I - are searching for exceptional lodgings around the shores of Lake Superior. We'll be in Michigan, Wisconsin and Minnesota - after bringing you reviews about places tucked into the quiet and rocky shores in Northwestern Ontario.
These places are treasures that you might not know about! We were recently at KOA in Thunder Bay - what an impressive place to leave your stress behind. A bit further up the road (east) is Red Rock: the Executive Retreat for the mill has been opened up to the public as Quebec Lodge, a B&B, and corporate retreat. Ginger and Ray of Nipigon River Adventures will also be featured in Northern Ontario Business Magazine.
Go just across the border to Grand Marais, MN to hang out in the Harbour. The photo is from the very decadent spa of Cobblestone Cove - a step outside to the beach. What a great condo with a gourmet kitchen to rent for a week of family time!
But first, I'll post a story about Dining with Dinosaurs that is published as a syndicated column at The Country Register.
Enjoy!
- Maggie
Photo Credit: Richard Chicoine
July 14, 2008
Charge! Wait!!
Charge! Wait!
Remember to Strategically Think Ahead
Have you ever noticed that entrepreneurs seem to just charge ahead, like a couple of puppies off their leash in a secluded meadow?
“It never would have occurred to me,” says Ginger Randle, “that a business plan and networking would be so important. I thought that entrepreneurship was easy - just go for it and customers would buy in.”
Remember to Strategically Think Ahead
Have you ever noticed that entrepreneurs seem to just charge ahead, like a couple of puppies off their leash in a secluded meadow?
“It never would have occurred to me,” says Ginger Randle, “that a business plan and networking would be so important. I thought that entrepreneurship was easy - just go for it and customers would buy in.”
Ginger sits casually on her kitchen counter at Quebec Lodge in Red Rock, Ontario. She’s reflecting on the businesses she and her partner, Ray Rivard have started in a little town hit hard by the demise of the lumber industry in Northwestern Ontario. It’s not a life she would have imagined 5 years ago.
Ray and Ginger recently completed negotiations with Norampac to revitalize a historic log cabin overlooking Lake Superior’s islands. With the consummate gestures of a seasoned fisherman, Ray explains that his recent acquisition is even better than breaking the standing record for speckled trout caught in the Nipigon River a hundred years ago.
His words and laughter signal the deep satisfaction of an entrepreneur who has ultimately found his calling.
Guests stepping into the warmth of the expansive lobby of this historic log cabin easily echo his excitement. The lighting in the two storey high entrance highlights the workmanship and architectural imagination of master craftsmen. Today’s log construction seems to only imitate the original craftsmanship of a by gone era. Designed originally as an exclusive retreat for Pulp and Paper Executives in the 1940’s, who obviously were wined and dined in luxury and comfort, the lodge is finally open to the public as a corporate retreat, B&B and home base for fishing and hunting expeditions on the Nipigon River.
Ginger admits that her expertise in lodge management is limited. She’s riding an entrepreneurial learning curve that takes her dream and refocuses it into a reality, with surprises built into the ever-changing business plan. She and Ray joke about kicking around ideas late in the evening around their firepit. “Before you know it, we’re in trouble with another new idea!”
That’s how the GROW clothing line for women who hunt got started. This stylish camou design is in the developmental phase. Randle is researching a competitive price point with consistent quality before production can start in earnest. She’s hoping that Cabella’s will carry her exclusive line. “I didn’t think that starting two businesses at the same time would be this hard!” she says with the passion of a true entrepreneur.
3 Tips to Remember while You Charge Ahead
As a woman new to the world of business, Ginger Randle’s experience so far has taught her that:
1. Who you know is more important than what you know. Ginger finally got over her shyness and learned to connect with people. She’s evolved into a natural networker whose enthusiasm infuses the conversation.
2. Ask for Help. Get over the stereotype about mentors being crusty old people who are not approachable! When you need advice, develop a relationship with an expert. Ginger raves about IT guru Andrew Brown from PC Medic in Thunder Bay, and a number of other connections who have expanded her entrepreneurial know how.
3. Dream Big - in 5 year stages. Make it happen. By researching and partnering, she discovered that she was eligible as a Red Lake Band status member to receive a grant from ABC - Aboriginal Business Canada. She sees the opportunities, but knows that it’s important to let go of some ideas too.
4. Bonus Tip: Follow Up and Follow Through. Stay on top of the contacts, the promises, the planning folder. There’s nothing like being overwhelmed by a huge TO DO list. Your guests can feel your stress levels.
Ray and Ginger recently completed negotiations with Norampac to revitalize a historic log cabin overlooking Lake Superior’s islands. With the consummate gestures of a seasoned fisherman, Ray explains that his recent acquisition is even better than breaking the standing record for speckled trout caught in the Nipigon River a hundred years ago.
His words and laughter signal the deep satisfaction of an entrepreneur who has ultimately found his calling.
Guests stepping into the warmth of the expansive lobby of this historic log cabin easily echo his excitement. The lighting in the two storey high entrance highlights the workmanship and architectural imagination of master craftsmen. Today’s log construction seems to only imitate the original craftsmanship of a by gone era. Designed originally as an exclusive retreat for Pulp and Paper Executives in the 1940’s, who obviously were wined and dined in luxury and comfort, the lodge is finally open to the public as a corporate retreat, B&B and home base for fishing and hunting expeditions on the Nipigon River.
Ginger admits that her expertise in lodge management is limited. She’s riding an entrepreneurial learning curve that takes her dream and refocuses it into a reality, with surprises built into the ever-changing business plan. She and Ray joke about kicking around ideas late in the evening around their firepit. “Before you know it, we’re in trouble with another new idea!”
That’s how the GROW clothing line for women who hunt got started. This stylish camou design is in the developmental phase. Randle is researching a competitive price point with consistent quality before production can start in earnest. She’s hoping that Cabella’s will carry her exclusive line. “I didn’t think that starting two businesses at the same time would be this hard!” she says with the passion of a true entrepreneur.
3 Tips to Remember while You Charge Ahead
As a woman new to the world of business, Ginger Randle’s experience so far has taught her that:
1. Who you know is more important than what you know. Ginger finally got over her shyness and learned to connect with people. She’s evolved into a natural networker whose enthusiasm infuses the conversation.
2. Ask for Help. Get over the stereotype about mentors being crusty old people who are not approachable! When you need advice, develop a relationship with an expert. Ginger raves about IT guru Andrew Brown from PC Medic in Thunder Bay, and a number of other connections who have expanded her entrepreneurial know how.
3. Dream Big - in 5 year stages. Make it happen. By researching and partnering, she discovered that she was eligible as a Red Lake Band status member to receive a grant from ABC - Aboriginal Business Canada. She sees the opportunities, but knows that it’s important to let go of some ideas too.
4. Bonus Tip: Follow Up and Follow Through. Stay on top of the contacts, the promises, the planning folder. There’s nothing like being overwhelmed by a huge TO DO list. Your guests can feel your stress levels.
Don't leave details to the last minute, even if that means you have to learn how to be an early bird. Get out of bed. Follow up.
If you are still within the 3 year boundary of starting your business, take a moment over the summer season to review your work habits, standards and measurements and your “happiness factor”.
If you are still within the 3 year boundary of starting your business, take a moment over the summer season to review your work habits, standards and measurements and your “happiness factor”.
It's easy to get into the charge ahead mode in business. If you’re running at full speed…STOP for a moment and smell the wild flowers. (Do I dare say this? Unleash your inner puppy!)
Stop, strategically think ahead and get a good night’s sleep!
PS
When you are driving the Circle Route around Lake Superior, Quebec Lodge is a short 100 km drive from Thunder Bay, Ontario. Located in Red Rock, the Lodge offers B&B, full meal, group lodge rentals and guided fishing and hunting tours. www.nipigonriveradventures.com
Maggie Chicoine is a professional speaker, facilitator, Master Coach and writer. The Idea Sculptor specializes in “Strategies to Think Ahead.”. Reach her at http://www.ideasculptor.com/ or 1 800 587 1767.
PS
When you are driving the Circle Route around Lake Superior, Quebec Lodge is a short 100 km drive from Thunder Bay, Ontario. Located in Red Rock, the Lodge offers B&B, full meal, group lodge rentals and guided fishing and hunting tours. www.nipigonriveradventures.com
Maggie Chicoine is a professional speaker, facilitator, Master Coach and writer. The Idea Sculptor specializes in “Strategies to Think Ahead.”. Reach her at http://www.ideasculptor.com/ or 1 800 587 1767.
Photo Credits: Richard Chicoine
All Rights Reserved
Watch for the publication of Superior Secrets: A Good Night’s Sleep featuring exceptional properties on the shores of Lake Superior: Ontario, Michigan, Wisconsin and Minnesota. You can read more http://www.lakesuperiornews.info/
July 08, 2008
Good News for Hard Rock Thinkers
The Complaint (Free) Department
Do you know any “Complaint Specialists”? You don’t have to be a psychologist to diagnose the symptoms. Venting. Negative phrasing. Finger pointing. Blame. For a complainer, this type of communication just seems to be normal.
And cognitive scientists agree! Your brain grows cells in your areas of specialty and focus. Dr. Ellen Weber, director of the MITA Brain Based Centre illustrates the point through MRI evidence. She says, “The areas in the brain that control the fingers, tongue and lips are larger in flute players. An accountant who works with numbers every day has a larger representation in the area of the brain that controls math ability.”
You continue to grow positive or negative connections whether you are 17 or 71. Age does not matter.
Do you know any “Complaint Specialists”? You don’t have to be a psychologist to diagnose the symptoms. Venting. Negative phrasing. Finger pointing. Blame. For a complainer, this type of communication just seems to be normal.
And cognitive scientists agree! Your brain grows cells in your areas of specialty and focus. Dr. Ellen Weber, director of the MITA Brain Based Centre illustrates the point through MRI evidence. She says, “The areas in the brain that control the fingers, tongue and lips are larger in flute players. An accountant who works with numbers every day has a larger representation in the area of the brain that controls math ability.”
You continue to grow positive or negative connections whether you are 17 or 71. Age does not matter.
You can re-wire your brain into more positive or more toxic modes: take your pick.
The 21 Day C-Challenge
In a previous column, I challenged readers to track their levels of complaining for 21 days. Habitual behaviors can be changed with conscious effort in only three weeks. So, if I’m going to suggest it, I’m going to try it. Our household took on the C-Challenge, starting July 1.
Within the first 24 hours, my personal attempt to forego venting and finger pointing failed. In fact, I messed up within the first 2 hours. With a long sigh, I said, “I am so sick and tired of moving my make-up in and out of this bathroom. When are you going to finish the renovations already!”. The irritation in my own voice signaled the cue instantly; I heard myself loud and clear. All I could do was to laugh and say,
The 21 Day C-Challenge
In a previous column, I challenged readers to track their levels of complaining for 21 days. Habitual behaviors can be changed with conscious effort in only three weeks. So, if I’m going to suggest it, I’m going to try it. Our household took on the C-Challenge, starting July 1.
Within the first 24 hours, my personal attempt to forego venting and finger pointing failed. In fact, I messed up within the first 2 hours. With a long sigh, I said, “I am so sick and tired of moving my make-up in and out of this bathroom. When are you going to finish the renovations already!”. The irritation in my own voice signaled the cue instantly; I heard myself loud and clear. All I could do was to laugh and say,
“#$)*%@ - this isn’t easy!”.
My husband lasted longer. At the 4 hour mark, his frustration with his new digital camera equipment got the better of him. Even though he’s a really easy going retired guy, technology always gets his grrrrr factor going. His brain has been trained to react. We are both suffering from rock hard brain-itis? Not so...
We started again.
Seven days into the C-Challenge, we are learning about the underlying importance of “mindfulness”, paying attention to our patterns and relationships in the “now”. Mindfulness requires that we let go of our judgments and criticisms and concentrate instead, on generating choices of expression.
We have come to realize that a partner in this C-Challenge is crucial. We catch each other’s phrasing about simple, everyday events like the weather. Instead of grumbling about the rainy forecast, I choose to say nothing. Rather than expressing irritation about technology, we both search for answers on the help site.
We’re taking the nomad lifestyle – I no mad at you, you no mad at me – to the extreme, and laughing more. Our brains are loving it!
Join us? Try the C-Challenge for 21 days and let us know how it goes.
My husband lasted longer. At the 4 hour mark, his frustration with his new digital camera equipment got the better of him. Even though he’s a really easy going retired guy, technology always gets his grrrrr factor going. His brain has been trained to react. We are both suffering from rock hard brain-itis? Not so...
We started again.
Seven days into the C-Challenge, we are learning about the underlying importance of “mindfulness”, paying attention to our patterns and relationships in the “now”. Mindfulness requires that we let go of our judgments and criticisms and concentrate instead, on generating choices of expression.
We have come to realize that a partner in this C-Challenge is crucial. We catch each other’s phrasing about simple, everyday events like the weather. Instead of grumbling about the rainy forecast, I choose to say nothing. Rather than expressing irritation about technology, we both search for answers on the help site.
We’re taking the nomad lifestyle – I no mad at you, you no mad at me – to the extreme, and laughing more. Our brains are loving it!
Join us? Try the C-Challenge for 21 days and let us know how it goes.
Comments on this blog are not shared unless you specifically ask for publication. All requests for coaching are held confidential.
We want to hear from you! Click on COMMENT, or better still, subscribe to a weekly feed. Click on "Subscribe" now.
Maggie Chicoine is a Master Coach, Facilitator, Professional Speaker and Writer based in Thunder Bay, Ontario Canada. She is a regular columnist for Lake Superior News and The Country Register.
Reach her at 1 800 687 1767 or http://www.theideasculptor.com/ or maggiechicoine@gmail.com. “Experience speaks…with a twist of ingenuity”
Watch for her new series: Superior Secrets – A Good Night’s Sleep featuring exceptional properties on the shores of Lake Superior.
Photos by Richard Chicoine.
All Rights Reserved.
June 30, 2008
It's HAPPY Canada Day!
Complaining About Canada
Canadians like to hug their mug of coffee at timmies and complain. I enjoy eavesdropping on these conversations, and boy do I get an earful now and again. What city council should – or shouldn’t do. What that neighbour should do about his fence. What our troops should be doing in Afghanistan. It’s all very interesting. And very funny.
When we listen to everyday language, we find out that many people are stuck on complaining. Kvetching. B*tching. Every second sentence points to griping about something. Yip. Yup.
My grandmother told me, and told me, and told me, “You can’t have a good life without a lot of good days”. She never complained, or so it seemed to me when I was a kid. Gossip did not pass her lips, so I just took it for granted that this is how the world should work. We should live like nomads: I no mad at you and you no mad at me!
Then I started to hang out in coffee shops. There were a lot more people complaining, and not many people like my grandma. The things they belly-ached about! In the long run, who cares if Billy didn’t eat his cornflakes, and Betty got a tattoo. Didn’t these people understand that how they view the world through their words, affects the life that they actually live?
It’s all about the Psychology of Happiness, or the flip side, the Science of Complaining. Complaining is a lot like bad breath. We don’t notice our own halitosis, but we sure get the signal from someone else’s mouth!
The Reverend Bill Bowen took the complaint department to task. In 2006, he challenged his congregation in Kansas City MO, to live 21 days complaint free, to not be the ouch looking for a hurt. That's 504 consecutive hours without a reference to discontent, pain or grief.
Canadians like to hug their mug of coffee at timmies and complain. I enjoy eavesdropping on these conversations, and boy do I get an earful now and again. What city council should – or shouldn’t do. What that neighbour should do about his fence. What our troops should be doing in Afghanistan. It’s all very interesting. And very funny.
When we listen to everyday language, we find out that many people are stuck on complaining. Kvetching. B*tching. Every second sentence points to griping about something. Yip. Yup.
My grandmother told me, and told me, and told me, “You can’t have a good life without a lot of good days”. She never complained, or so it seemed to me when I was a kid. Gossip did not pass her lips, so I just took it for granted that this is how the world should work. We should live like nomads: I no mad at you and you no mad at me!
Then I started to hang out in coffee shops. There were a lot more people complaining, and not many people like my grandma. The things they belly-ached about! In the long run, who cares if Billy didn’t eat his cornflakes, and Betty got a tattoo. Didn’t these people understand that how they view the world through their words, affects the life that they actually live?
It’s all about the Psychology of Happiness, or the flip side, the Science of Complaining. Complaining is a lot like bad breath. We don’t notice our own halitosis, but we sure get the signal from someone else’s mouth!
The Reverend Bill Bowen took the complaint department to task. In 2006, he challenged his congregation in Kansas City MO, to live 21 days complaint free, to not be the ouch looking for a hurt. That's 504 consecutive hours without a reference to discontent, pain or grief.
To help monitor their progress in changing their communication habit, Rev. Bowen gave each person a purple elastic bracelet with some simple directions.
Every time they heard themselves complaining, they were to switch the bracelet to the other wrist. The idea spread, and now over 5 million bracelets have been distributed in more than 80 countries. I wish my grandmother had thought of this!
Why am I saying, “Stop Complaining Already” on Canada Day?
It’s personal. I admit that my grandmother’s influence guides my life, and I’d like to live in a more positive Canada. I’d like to join you for a cup of coffee and see the bright side. I want us to raise our children to take positive leadership roles in our communities, to support the under-dogs and see hope and potential.
Why am I saying, “Stop Complaining Already” on Canada Day?
It’s personal. I admit that my grandmother’s influence guides my life, and I’d like to live in a more positive Canada. I’d like to join you for a cup of coffee and see the bright side. I want us to raise our children to take positive leadership roles in our communities, to support the under-dogs and see hope and potential.
Most of all, I want to influence lives to be happy, by having one good (Canada Day) after another.
The Canada Day Challenge
If you're up to the challenge - 21 days no kvetching - let me know!
I'll post your comments if you give me permission. Ready? Get an elastic band from the bunch of broccoli in the fridge. Keep it on your wrist for 504 hours starting July 1. Tell your family what you are doing. Tell me too.
Go Canada!
PS Enter your email to subscribe. Your address is never shared.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
